feather extensions?

what do you think about them? should i get one? i wouldn’t get a wacky color, something that would sort of blend with my hair but still be noticable! i think i’d feel like pocahontas. that’d be bad ass.

so should i spend the money for one or no? would it be cool to have when i go to cali? but what if people don’t have them there and they think i’m weird! or maybe i’ll start a trend. or maybe it’s bigger there than it is here.

so should i get one? where should i go? and how much are they?

I’m so glad I found Tumblr, because I can vent about something that I’m not really allowed to tell anyone. But I can’t help it, I need to get this out. I need to vent.

My mom is cheating on my step dad.

I’m going to keep the story short. My biological dad left before I was born. I grew up without him, and it really bothered me. My mom got remarried when I was 8 and that whole relationship is hell. I can’t stand him. Anyways, my biological dad found my mom on Facebook about a year ago, and then he found me. He added me and messaged me saying hello. My mom said it was okay to answer, so I did and just said hi back. Within the next month, him and my mom were talking on the phone, which I found strange but didn’t say anything about. He was begging to meet me, so I figured they were talking on the phone because of me. The first time I talked on the phone with him was my 17th birthday because he wanted to say happy birthday. Then again on fathers day. Then again right before I left for Europe over the summer. When I came back, I never talked to him but my mom still was. I finally did around Christmas and he was still begging to meet me. In the middle of February I agreed. We met in Panera bread. I brought my mom (obviously) and my boyfriend to calm me down. He was really really nice, and I really liked him. We talked on the phone for a little after that, but not a lot. We didn’t see each other again after that.

Last Saturday, my mom came in my room and told me that she was making me go to a cookout at his house, with all of his family there. That’s right, the second time I ever met my dad and it was going to be with his whole family. I was scared to death. She said she bought tickets to take me to Wicked after, so I had to go. On the way there she jokingly said ‘we’re on the way to meet my in-laws!’. Well, I thought she was joking. Then she dropped the bomb. She’s been dating my real dad since they got back in contact. She’s been with him, lying to my whole family that she’s going out to do errands, when in reality she’s sneaking out to see him. She’s leaving my step dad for my real dad as soon as she gets a well paying job so she can get a divorce and support me and my siblings. I knew she wanted a divorce, which I was fine with because I can’t stand my step dad, but I didn’t know it was for that reason.

When we were there I was already upset, but didn’t show it. My dad brought up that she was supposed to tell me something (that they were together), but I played dumb and changed the subject. While we were eating lunch and talking to random family members, my mom and dad were holding hands. Holding. Hands. Right infront of me. I had to bite my cheek to hold back tears. And when we were leaving, I saw him kiss her.

HOW could my mom do that? How could she cheat on my step dad? She has no respect. And I know reading this, you probably think I’m stupid and it’s no big deal. But it IS. It’s a HUGE deal. It kills me. I’m so angry with her. I didn’t talk to her the rest of the night, and it was so hard to not run into the house when I got home, screaming ‘SHE’S CHEATING ON YOU’ to my step dad.

I feel lost and broken and shitty and like I’m a liar for not telling my dad. It’s just sending me back, making me relapse. The self harm, the not eating, the depression. It’s all smacking me in the face at 100 mph.

Fuck.